A few years ago I was facilitating a small group in my home. During that time my son was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He was only 25 with a new preemie baby in the NCU. During her stay in the hospital while she was growing stronger each day, he was undergoing 40 treatments of radiation and growing weaker each day.

I knew God would be faithful and would hear a mother’s prayers. I was always praying to save my son’s life, “Can’t you see he has his little baby in the hospital that needs him”?

Then one day a gentleman named Malmar, who had been a visitor at our church the Sunday before, joined our group. I had visited with him for awhile on that Sunday, and explained some of our ministries, including our small groups. He was not much older than my son. He was a transient worker and was only to be in town for 3 or 4 weeks. I really had a hard time trying to decide his nationality, he had darkish skin; however, he really didn’t look Asian, Middle Eastern, or Hispanic. Then there was that different type of name, Malmar; while it didn’t matter, I just was curious and trying to figure out this new guest in our group – certainly not of our age. I could think of many other groups that he would feel more comfortable in, but I guess he felt comfortable with me from our previous conversation on Sunday.

I remember that we were studying the book of Acts, and for a new person he had a lot of input. I was quite impressed. At the end of the evening we always went around for prayer requests. When it came to me, I was praying for my son and his daughter. I thought the need to fill Malmar in on the situation and my concerns for their health and healing.

As I talked, Malmar listened intently and responded in a way that blew me away with wisdom and maturity beyond his years. He told me that I was holding back from God, I wasn’t giving Him my all. I thought, “How dare you – you don’t even know me, you’re in my living room,” but of course I didn’t say that out loud. It was as if he read my mind and responded with, “You need to give God’s son and child to Him. They are not yours, they are His. While you were praying you kept saying ‘my son’ ‘my granddaughter.’ What you are doing is holding God’s complete healing back.”

He said, “Let me explain in a different way. If you had the most precious watch like a Rolex and it broke in many tiny pieces, and as you were picking up the pieces to take to the watchmaker for repair you saw a beautiful jeweled gear and quirky spring that you wanted to keep. Then you went to the watchmaker and handed him the rest of the pieces and asked him to fix your precious watch. He would say he couldn’t, he needed all the pieces. You would know to give him that jeweled gear and quirky spring you held back, because you wanted your watch fixed perfectly – only the way a watchmaker could do.” He continued, “That is what you need to do with your son and granddaughter, give them to God completely, don’t hold back anything. Allow God to fix His masterpiece, and know that His repair may not be what you are wanting, but it will be complete by God.”

I, of course, began praying for God’s will to be done in their lives, not my will as frantic mother and grandmother. I prayed to God I was able to accept whatever it was, because God, You are the watchmaker. I know You will watch over them, You will heal them in Your time and way. You will repair what needs mending. And if Your will does not match my will… show me how I can still praise you.

I never saw Malmar again after that night; I guess he moved on to his next job. But I do know that lesson on prayer in my living room was straight from the arms of God, and Jesus had feet that night in my home.

The rest of the story, my (God’s) son is cancer free, and my (God’s) granddaughter is now 11 years old, from a preemie of 1 pound 7 ounces to a pre-teen normal size and development for her age.

God brought them to me complete! I just had to give all of them to Him.

– Laney Allison