The Other Half “of the Pain and Loneliness” of My Heart is in Heaven
Dedicated to My “Big Brother” – Wayne
For nine months we were only one heart, no one knew we were two halves of the same heart.
For nine months our halves of our hearts beat as one.
For nine months our halves of our hearts were in total sync.
Then one day the other half of my heart was ready to beat alone; experiencing the world outside the safety of the womb.
But my half of our heart always said, “It kicked your half of our heart out of the womb to have a room of its own”. However, the other half of my heart knew it needed a “big brother” who would always be its champion, and its defender; so, it allowed the growth of my half of our heart.
For 15 minutes our halves of our heart lost it sync and beat as two hearts; but for only 15 minutes, then we joined our halves once again outside the womb.
Throughout our lives our halves of our heart have gone in different directions, led different paths, had different journeys, but continued to beat as one – in total sync.
As our halves of our heart crossed each other’s lives journeys with hiccups along the way, they still beat as one.
However, both halves of our heart carried each other’s burdens, illnesses, morning sickness, heart attacks, aches and pains during those difficult and different paths.
The other half of my heart had to grow up fast – much faster than it was ready or equipped to handle; becoming the man of the family after daddy died.
The other half of my heart went down the wrong path trying to fill its pain and void with drugs, alcohol, and failed marriages.
While the other half of my heart was on that path; my half of my heart never gave up on the other half of my heart. Praying and yearning for the wholeness of life that it had found in the freedom of Jesus.
Then one day, the other half of my heart found the truth, freedom, wholeness and forgiveness that it always yearned for. The void was filled, the pain was gone, the drugs and alcohol were no longer holding the other half of my heart in bondage.
The other half of my heart grew with such strong faith and conviction, knowing who and who’s the other half of my heart belonged too.
My half of our heart is lonely and aching and feels it can’t beat alone when the other half of its heart is gone.
My half of our heart will not stop loving the other half of my heart; but it feels like it has lost its rhythm, its synced beat.
My half of our heart begs to understand God’s timing. Is the vapor of our earthly heartbeat no different than the 15 minutes outside the womb when we beat alone so many years ago?
The other half of my heart is allowing my half of our heart to cry, heal, greive, and mourn; but it is also rejoicing in heaven as it shows my half of our heart how to live and breathe and beat as one.
The other half of my heart knows it will take time, but it continues to be the “Big Brother” champion and defender for my half of our heart.
Is it just my half of our heart’s imagination that I lost the synced beat of the other half of my heart? Or is it my half of our heart’s imagination of what the other half of my heart is seeing, what it is experiencing, and how it is worshipping you God in heaven?
Jesus take care of the other half of my heart, as I would never wish the other half of my heart back from your arms.
Today I want the other half of my heart to know that “the pain and loneliness” in my half of our heart is at peace knowing that it will beat as one in total sync once again for eternity.
I love you my “Big Brother” Wayne – The Other Half of My Heart!
~ Elayne (Laney) The Other Half of Your Heart ~
~ 8-10-2019 ~